20131006

Matrimony

I've known Josh (Joshua) for over decade now. I've known Lani (Kilani) for almost a decade.

It was funny to me. . . all the things that were right about it. To start, both of them have names that no one actually uses. Joshua is Josh. Kilani is Lani.

Josh's family is pure New York. The accent, the swagger, the directness. Lani's family is from Every Where Else. She lived in so many states, so her father told me. Both families were gregarious. Over joyed. Suddenly good at dancing. They all had accents from everywhere, but after years living in Baltimore, the bride and groom had mostly lost theirs. Their accent was between them. That secret language of people in love. You know it when you see it.

It was like meeting the bride and groom for the first time, when their families were there.

Now I understood.

Family is the DVD commentary on the movie of your life.

In roughly an hour, I suddenly understood these two people better than I ever did. Initially, I was pleased in abstract "Happy for you," kind of way. Weddings are good. They make people happy. Therefore, I should be happy about this thing. Then? After all the new information, it became this giddy elation. It was like seeing the end of war, it was like the discovery of new star. What was arcane ritual on paper became joyous celebration. What was something that felt like mere social obligation became necessary as breath.

It was a beautiful ceremony. Probably because before it, there were so many things in the way.

Before we went to dance hall that used to be a church, in the hotel room, Josh said that after the all the obstacles of bureaucracy and craziness in the District of Columbia where he lives, nothing else could really stand in their way.

And then there we all were. All the fears and anxieties of the day to day faded away, like mist in sunlight. Death and Taxes seemed finite. Then we had just the facts. The earth revolves around the sun. The moon revolves around the earth. And Josh and Lani love each other.

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