I Hope This Helps

5. Looking down on people who use two-ply toilet paper Any toilet paper that isn't that single ply, not perforated stuff that comes in white box with black Arial font seems completely decadent to you. For some reason all the other hardships you have experienced in the military you'll just accept and drive on, but GOD FORBID someone you respect use the toilet paper from the commercial with the adorable animated bears. They could have horrible hemorrhoids or something, but you don't care because you had to eat shit sandwiches daily in a desert country filled with people who either want to kill you or are completely terrified of you. Meanwhile, everyone else had air conditioning, fast internet with access to porn, and steak houses that will actually serve a steak at a temperature other than well-done shoe leather. The only way to deal with this is a kind of minimizing, which can quickly get out of control. . . Seriously, this bear to you becomes like ...

It's important to note, this article has two purposes: to make light of some things and allow me to vent. That's all. I'm sure it's shot through with political feelings that not everyone will agree with. If that's the case, I encourage you to go to whatever website it is that only posts things you agree with 100%. Also, this post contains the most offensive phrase I have ever heard.  5. Nothing can prepare you .  . . for all the singing Basic Training, Boot Camp, or whatever the branch you join calls it, has more singing in it than a Broadway musical. The first two to three weeks you barely go to the field. Mostly it's classes about the how's and why's and history of your branch. You get three meals a day and every time you march to the chow hall, you will be singing your fool head off. It's the same five songs over and over and over again so it's like radio in the late nineties if they never got past Rag Time. You know Do Wa Diddy? T...